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ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 11 months ago

Attorney General Seeks Death Penalty For All UnitedHealthcare Customers

theonion.com

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Attorney General Seeks Death Penalty For All UnitedHealthcare Customers

theonion.com

ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 11 months ago
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  • Rhaedas@fedia.io
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    11 months ago

    Seems redundant.

  • expatriado@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    for free?

    • normalexit@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Only if you’ve met your deductible.

      • meco03211@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Otherwise you will be kept “alive” as legally defined so that your existence might feed the machine.

  • RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    The Onion casting wide.

    But is it wide enough?

  • oppy1984@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    As a current victim of United Healthcare, it wouldn’t surprise me if this became true before the end of the year.

    • MECHAGODZILLA2@midwest.social
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      11 months ago

      My entire life was turned upside down, to put it mildly, because of United Healthcare. You have my sympathy, it is a truly awful experience. But you are not alone. Stay strong.

  • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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    11 months ago

    She looks like the first victim whose corpse was brought back to life to make this announcement

    • samus12345@lemm.ee
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      11 months ago

    • Rhaedas@fedia.io
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      11 months ago

      The Walking Dead was never the zombies, it was the living trying to kill each other.

  • Helvetica@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    If you can get sick and the insurance ghouls can cancel your insurance to protect their profits then they’ve already sentenced you to death. People just ignore the reality until it happens to them.

  • Trihilis@ani.social
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    11 months ago

    I really have to check nowadays if something is the onion. Most regular news items are weirder and more unbelievable than the onion.

  • ef9357@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Well, she’s evil enough for this to be true.

  • ceenote@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    They should be grateful: receiving due process at all is no longer a right these days.

  • JokeDeity@lemm.ee
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    11 months ago

    🙁 I actually thought this could be real and I hate that.

    What have they done to us? What did they do to us?!

  • But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I thought that was Anya Taylor Joy

  • friendly_ghost@beehaw.org
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    11 months ago

    I didn’t even ask to be born, much less take a job with a UHC health plan

  • charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    deleted by creator

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