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ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago

New Law Requires Texans To Show ID To Buy Phallic Foods

theonion.com

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New Law Requires Texans To Show ID To Buy Phallic Foods

theonion.com

ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 year ago
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AUSTIN, TX—In an effort to crack down on the statewide proliferation of adult foodstuffs, the Texas Legislature passed a new law Friday requiring all residents to show identification to buy phallic foods. “From bananas to cucumbers to submarine sandwiches, obscene foods will no longer be allowed to fall into the hands of minors in the […]
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  • distantsounds@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    All the best food is shaped like a dick

    • miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      …yet tastes like chicken.

  • Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    No mention of increased scrutiny around firearms, which will presumably be available at every store upon entry.

  • miss phant@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 year ago

    I ate the eggplant for the whole first paragraph.

  • BlueLineBae@midwest.social
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    1 year ago

    You know which foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds!!

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